WHAT I WISH I’D KNOWN WHEN
I BEGAN YOUNG ADULT &
SINGLE ADULT MINISTRY
DISCOVERING KEYS THAT
UNLOCK ANSWERS!
Dennis Franck – Consultant/Speaker
Franck Insights
www.franckinsights.com franckinsights@gmail.com
TYPES/AGES OF ADULTS WHO
WILL ATTEND
 YOUNG ADULT MINISTRY
– NEVER MARRIED-mostly ages 18-35
– MARRIED – mostly ages 18-35
– SOME DIVORCED & SINGLE PARENTS
–mostly ages 18-35
 SINGLE ADULT MINISTRY
– FORMERLY MARRIED- mostly ages 35-65
– WIDOWED-mostly ages 35-65
– SINGLE PARENT-mostly ages 20-50
– SEPARATED- mostly ages 30-60
(legally married but living a single life)
VAST AGE SPANS
(80-90 % attending)
 Young Adults ………………18 – 39 yrs
 Single Adult Ministry……....40 – 65 yrs
 Varied…
– Interests…
– Physical abilities…
– Preferences…
– Opinions…
SPIRITUAL NEEDS/INTERESTS OF
MARRIED & SINGLE ADULTS
 SALVATION
 BAPTISM
 DISCIPLESHIP
 OBEDIENCE
 PRAYER LIFE
 COMMITMENT
 BIBLE TEACHING
 SPIRITUAL GROWTH
COMMON INTERESTS/NEEDS OF SINGLE
ADULTS/YOUNG ADULTS (most ages)
 Career issues
 Spiritual Growth
 Self esteem
 Singleness issues
 Courting/Dating
 Friendships with same
 Pre-marital education
and opposite sex
 Re-marital education
 Money management
 Understanding
 Understanding
emotions
Sexuality
 Learning to risk
 Developing Identity
 Acceptance
 Stress management
 Dealing with Guilt
 Coping with changes
 Loneliness
 Setting goals
 Financial issues
UNIQUE INTERESTS/NEEDS OF
SINGLE ADULTS/YOUNG ADULTS
(influenced by age and life circumstances)
 Rearing kids alone
 Grief Recovery
 Shared parenting
 Learning to risk
 Relating to ex spouse
 Fitting in
 Time away from kids
 Humility
 Extra financial issues
 Finding my new role
 Learning to forgive
 Depression
 Learning to trust
 Managing anger
 Dating/dating again
 Blending families
 Divorce Recovery
 Relating to married adults
 Integrity
as a single
ASK THESE QUESTIONS!
 Who are we trying to reach?
 Why are we trying to reach them?
 What are the demographics of our church?
 What are the demographics of our
community?
ASK THESE QUESTIONS!
 What resources do we have now?
(People-Facilities-Money-Materials etc.)
 What resources do we need to get?
 Who else is doing what we want to do?
Same denomination
Other denominations/independent
DESIGN MINISTRY BY
AGE AND/OR NEED GROUPS
 BY AGE…
 BY NEED….
 18 – 25 (College age)
 Married
 18 – 30 yrs.
 Mid 20’s & 30’s
 Single Parents & children
-Pre-school
-Elementary
-Jr/Sr High
 Divorce Care & children
 30+Single/single - again
(35+ if have 20’s & 30”s)
-Age groups
 Widowed
Young Adults/Single Adults
3 Markets
(which one(s) will you reach?)
 In YOUR church…
 In NO church…
 In OTHER churches…
POTENTIAL LABELS
ROM. 14:16-DO NOT ALLOW WHAT YOU CONSIDER GOOD
TO BE SPOKEN OF AS EVIL….DON’T CRITICIZE THAT
WHICH IS JUSTIFIABLE
 LONELY HEARTS CLUB………LONERS
 DATING MARKET………………LOVERS
 HOSPITAL………….……………..LOSERS
 CHURCH………………….……….LEAVERS
 PLACE OF/FOR MINISTRY...…..LIVERS
HEALING AND WHOLENESS
 HEALING AND WHOLENESS
-Spiritual-emotional-relational-physical
 EMERGENCY ROOM
-Sometimes people need help right now
 MOBILITY AND TRANSIENCY
REASONS FOR:
50 % TURNOVER EVERY 6-12 MONTHS!… “NUMBERS GAME”
-move
-no one interests them
-unfriendliness
-marry
-conviction
-offended
-break up
-wrong ages
-involved in other
-too spiritual
-not ok with singleness
area of church
-not spiritual
-biases toward others
-philosophy diff.
-DON’T’ WORRY ABOUT IT! WORK AT CLOSING THE BACK DOOR!
-MINISTER TO PEOPLE WHILE THEY ARE THERE!
OPENNESS AND HONESTY
 OPENNESS & HONESTY
-Tell it like it is
-Frank, bold, honest teaching needed on relevant
issues
 COUNSELING
-Spiritual, relational, emotional, psychological
-Refer to qualified individuals when necessary
-Establish relationships with Christian counselors
HEALTHY FRIENDSHIPS
 NEED FOR FRIENDSHIPS
-Probably the biggest need
-Provide varied/many opportunities for
-Wholeness comes through healthy friendships
– I Cor. 11:11 In God’s plan, men and women
need each other
 TWO TYPES OF PEOPLE
-Lifter-spiritually/emotionally strong
-Leaner- “
“
weak
ENTRANCES/EXITS OF PEOPLE
 OPEN DOOR
-Everyone is accepted…
-Regardless of spiritual, social, mental, physical
situations
 REVOLVING DOOR
-Everyone leaves…
-Immediately-later-eventually
 SLIDING DOOR
-Help mainstream single adults into church
-Allow them to leave to minister
INTEGRATION IS THE
GOAL!
 IT IS THE GOAL FOR MOST PEOPLE TO:
– EVENTUALLY LEAVE THE MINISTRY
– INVOLVE IN THE WHOLE LIFE OF THE CHURCH
– TAKE CHURCH LEADERSHIP POSITIONS
– MIX WITH OTHER TYPES OF PEOPLE
– BECOME COMFORTABLE IN THE TOTAL LIFE OF
THE CHURCH
OBTAINING SR PASTOR
SUPPORT
 Meet with him-regularly to inform him
 Give him materials
 Ask for help-budget, promotion, speaking
 Feature the pastor at a major event
 Interview board members at a meeting/class
 Send mailings to them
 Talk to them at church
PLAN INTENTIONALLY
 LOCATION-on or off the church
grounds-possible pros & cons
 FORMAT-components of the meeting,
scheduling of time for each
 SEATING-formal or informal, use of
tables and chairs
 TEACHING-style, topics, discussion
opportunities, question & answer etc.
 REFRESHMENTS-simple, inexpensive
PRAY CONSISTENTLY AND
PERSISTENTLY!
 The bigger the ministry, the more prayer is needed!
(big machine needs more oil than small machine)
 Prayer needs to bathe every part of your ministry!
 Leadership needs to model prayer!
 “We have not because we ask not!”
 II Chron. 7:14-”If my people will humble
themselves and pray…..THEN will I”…
 Without prayer you are just playing at ministry!
 Without prayer ministry becomes mechanical!
CORRECT THE
MISCONCEPTIONS
 Purposes of the ministry-Where are they
stated? How often? Are they known?
 Image of the ministry and single adults
•
•
•
•
•
Loners-Singles are usually lonely…
Losers-Singles are usually hurting and needy…
Lovers-Singles are usually looking for someone…
Leavers-Singles are usually uncommitted…
Livers-Singles can be effective ministers! (Jesus was
single)
PROVIDE BALANCED
TEACHING
 TWO TYPES OF TEACHING NEEDED:
– PERSONAL TOPICS- Relationships, Self
Esteem, Sexuality, Career choice, Pre-marital
issues, Divorce care, Single parenting etc.
– SPIRITUAL TOPICS-Salvation, Faith,
Commitment, Prayer, Discipline, Growth, etc.
PROVIDE BALANCED
OPPORTUNITIES
 Spiritual Opportunities…
 Relational Opportunities…
 Educational Opportunities…
 Social Opportunities…
BUDGET & FINANCES
 ANY MINISTRY WORTH HAVING IS
WORTH FUNDING!
– Educate the Sr. Pastor/Board
– Realize single adults will give to the cause
– Being part of the church budget is best!
– Take and keep offerings towards ministry costs
PROMOTION
 Promote INSIDE the church
• Flyers, bulletins, dramas, posters, videos, emails,
visits to adult classes, twitter, facebook, other groups
etc.
 Promote OUTSIDE the church
• Website, posters, business cards, newspaper ads, radio
public service announcements, emails, twitter,
facebook, brochures in counseling/shopping centers,
laundry mats etc.
UNDERSTAND COUNSELING
NEEDS
 TYPES NEEDED:
–
–
–
–
SPIRITUAL ISSUES
RELATIONAL ISSUES
PERSONAL ISSUES
PSYCHOLOGICAL ISSUES
PROVIDE AND/OR REFER TO OTHER
COUNSELORS
NO VISITORS COMING?
 LEADERSHIP SHOULD EVALUATE…
– Current promotion
– Friendliness of the group
– Format of the meeting
– Time, location of meeting
– Image of the group
– Teaching topics, style etc
– Opportunities for discussion
– Opportunities for fellowship
PLAN LOCAL OUTREACHES
 Group can easily become inward-focused
 Outreach helps single adults look outside of
themselves
 Outreach will give individuals a bigger
perspective
 Outreach will give individuals a better
perspective
 Outreach will give your ministry credibility
LOOK FOR A LEADER
 The buck needs to stop somewhere!
 Appoint a leader to…
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Provide a vision
Lead the leadership team
Make decisions
Make relationships with leaders a priority
Make the sacrifices
Spend time in prayer
Set an example for the leadership team
BUILDING LEADERSHIP-ASK…
 What responsibilities could/should we
delegate?
 Who has leadership potential?
(Desires-Skills-Experience-Vision-Good Attitude)
 When can I meet with them?
BEGINNING A MINISTRY…
PRIMARY LEADERSHIP NEEDED
 Hospitality
 Follow-up
 Music
 Discussion leaders
 Snacks/Food
 Activities
 Emcee
 Teacher
MALE VS. FEMALE
Leadership
 Generally, the older the group, the more
important and difficult it is to find male
leadership.
 ISSUES:
– Attracting both genders
– Retaining both genders
– Egos of men
– Perceived authority-men vs. women
– Use men in front as much as possible
– Organizational ability-men vs. women
MARRIED VS. SINGLE
Leadership
 Generally…
– The younger the age group, the more accepting
people are of married couples in leadership.
– The older the age group, the more accepting
people are of remarried couples in leadership.
MARRIED VS. SINGLE
Leadership
 Leadership should be predominantly single
adults.
–
–
–
–
–
Experience
Flexibility of time
Understanding of issues
Respect of peers
Example of life, growth, maturity
PRINCIPLES OF LEADERSHIP
 OWNERSHIP
-They must “own” the ministry!
-People will support what they help to create!
-You don’t need to make all the decisions!
 RESPONSIBILITY
-Organize the ministry
-Give people responsibilities
-Trust them with these
PRINCIPLES OF LEADERSHIP
 AUTHORITY
-Give it--Responsibility without authority is
PUPPETRY”
-Accept it--Receive it humbly
-Use it--Don’t run to your authority for every decision
-Respect it--Learn your boundaries
 ACCOUNTABILITY
-Don’t be afraid of it
-Everyone needs to be accountable to someone
-A system of checks and balances
NETWORK WITH OTHER
LEADERS!
 YOU CAN LEARN FROM OTHERS!
 LOOK FOR OTHER GROUPS/LEADERS
 YOUR PEOPLE WANT TO MEET
OTHER PEOPLE!
 YOUR GROUP NEEDS A LARGER
VISION!
Discussion
 What impacted you from this session?
 What ideas do you have as a result of this
session?
 What changes could/should you make as a
result of this session?