Episode 9

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Renee confronted Lynette. Look, you and Tom tried to make it work, and you
couldn't. Now he's moved on. Carlos agreed to go into rehab. I know a great
place. I can call tomorrow. Susan's secret work of art... No one can see these!
Fueled the detective's suspicions... All I see is four women that killed a guy
with a candlestick and dumped his body in the woods. And drove a wedge between
friends. More secrets? - What did you think you were doing? - I was protecting
you! Yeah, well, great job. Whenever Bree Van De Kamp was feeling low... she
found solace in the act of baking. When her first husband passed away, she made
coffee cake. When her second husband went to jail, she made sugar cookies. And
when her teenage daughter got pregnant, she made crime brake.
So when Bree's best friends stopped speaking to her, she hoped that her warm
cherry scones might thaw their chilly relationship. Susan. Hey, sweetie. Is your
mom home? Uh, no. She's at... church. On a thursday? She told you to say that,
didn't she? Only if it was you. If it was the priest, I'm supposed to say she's
reading to the blind. Will you stop pounding? I just put Paige down. I'm sorry,
but no one will talk to me. Really? I wonder why that is. Look, I have made a
mess of things, but I want to make it up to you all. You really think you can
bake your way out of this one? Of course not. It's just a peace offering, a way
to begin the conversation. I have nothing to discuss with you, not after the way
you and Gaby lied to me. Lynette, please understand.
I was only trying to protect you, all of you. No! You were trying to control us
the way you try and control everything. That's not fair. You told us that as
long as we trusted each other and stuck together, everything would be fine. It
will be. As long as we have our friendship, they can't do anything to us. Don't
you get it? There is no us. There is no friendship. Not anymore. You're on your
own. We all are. Yes, Bree had always taken comfort in baking. But when baking
failed her, she took comfort in something else. In a place as peaceful as
Wisteria lane, the smallest crime can prompt a call to the police... When a
neighborhood kid makes a reckless mistake... when children need to be taught a
lesson... when the teenagers next door start a band.
Yes, the women of Wisteria lane were used to calling the police. What they
weren't used to was having the police... call them. So... what's going on? Not
sure. No one's talked to us yet. Do you think we need a lawyer? I don't know.
Maybe Susan can paint one for us. Lawyers won't be necessary, ladies. This is
not an official investigation. It's just a... it's just a casual conversation
among friends. But if you want to bring lawyers into it, I can open a case file,
take your fingerprints. No. No. We like the friend thing. Great. So the first
friend I'd like to talk to is... Susan. Try my coffee. The guys are always
complimenting me on it. Thanks. I'm trying to cut down on caffeine. Gets you all
jittery and nervous? Yeah. I hate that. So you feeling jittery and nervous right
now? What? N-no. Absolutely not. Uh, yum. My compliments. Why'd you paint this?
Uh, why?
It's... hard to say why artists... paint what they do. Gosh, that probably
sounded so... artsy. No, not really. I would imagine it's even possible that the
artist herself doesn't really know why she did it. Sometimes you say to
yourself... "Where the heck did that come from?" "Maybe I shouldn't have eaten"
"that pepperoni pizza before bed." Or maybe you say to yourself, "I feel so
guilty about what I did." I-I-I don't... I mean, who... who is that? The guy in
your painting. The one in the grave. No. Uh, uh, no. That came from my
imagination. Bull. It's him. Ramon Sanchez.
A missing person from Oklahoma. I don't know anything about that. That isn't a
painting, Susan. It's a guilty conscience trying to find peace, but it never
will, ever... until you tell the truth. So you've never seen this guy before?
You already asked me that, and I told you. No. You know something, Lynette?
You'd have made a good cop. You know how to stay cool, keep your emotions in
check. Listen to me. You women are good people. I know that. But you're
obviously covering something up. Now forget about me being a cop, okay? Let me
tell you something as a friend. A jury will forgive a lot when they understand
why something happened. But first, you have to stop lying.
I'm not lying. How much more of a toll are you gonna let this thing take on you?
What does that mean? It means that whatever it is you've done, it's clearly the
reason your husband walked out on you. Sorry. But you said to forget you were a
cop. Huh. Look at that. What happened to keeping your cool? Recognize him?
Sorry. You wanna look at it for two seconds before you answer? I got nothing.
Can I go? He's a person, Gaby. He has two kids, not much older than yours. Two
girls, who may never see their daddy again. I don't know him. Now may I leave? I
have a lot of things to do. Oh, yeah? Like what? Visiting your husband in rehab?
I heard about his drinking. I'm sorry. Yeah.
Well, the good news is it looks like we nipped it in the bud. Oh, it's a new
problem? Yeah. Why? Usually there's a trigger when somebody starts abusing
alcohol out of the blue. Anything come to mind? Anything stressful? He... he had
an affair. Carlos? That's hard to believe. I know, right? I mean, who would
cheat on this? I meant because he seems like such a good man. Well, he's not.
He's a cad, a philandering S.O.B., but I love him. So if I go there tomorrow and
ask Carlos that same question... he'd give me the same answer? You bet. Great. I
might just do that. I'll have another, please. Okay. You got a friend who can
drive you home? No.
Turns out I'm friendless at the moment. But don't worry. I'll take a taxi. You
ladies sound like you're having fun! What's the occasion? Just, you know, girls'
night out. Left the kids and husbands at home. Whoo-hoo! I'll drink to that.
Yeah. Amen to that, sister. I mean, who needs families when we've got
girlfriends? Am I right? I'm sorry. Who are you? Oh, where are my manners? Bree
Van De Kamp. I heard you all carrying on, and, well, really, I've been feeling a
little disconnected lately, and I thought, "Bree, a little human contact is"
"just what you need." Uh, yeah, Kelly just had a baby, and we haven't seen each
other for a while, so we were hoping... A baby! Oh, that's wonderful. Well, we
need to celebrate. Bottle of champagne! It's on me. So how do we all know each
other? Well, these two I know from college, and you I know from randomly sitting
down at our table. God, I miss this.
And then one day, you wake up and you realize you've got nothing. Nothing. Your
children abandon you. Even the gay one. I mean, aren't gay men supposed to be
obsessed with their mothers? As far as relationships go, forget it. Two of them
left me. Three of them are dead. And all of this I could bear as long as I had
my girlfriends. But now they've abandoned me, too. Everything I touch...
everything I love... Well, on that note, I think I'll call it a night. Same
here. Wait. It's barely midnight... Awfully early for four single gals like us.
We're all married. You don't have to rub it in, Lynette. Stop calling me
Lynette. It's really creeping me out. Wait. I've got an idea. Why don't you all
come back to my place and we can have a sleepover? Good night. No. No, please...
please come home with me. I-I have a really big house with lots of empty rooms
and... Okay, lady. You want me to call you your cab yet? No. I'm just gonna
finish Lynette's champagne. Ben. Hello.
How you feeling? Fine. Why do you ask? You don't remember last night, do you? Of
course I do. Really? What do you remember? I went out to dinner with a few
girlfriends, came home, and went to bed. Uh, close. You knocked on my door at
2:00 in the morning to borrow money, 'cause the cab driver wouldn't take the
fried zucchini you had in your purse. Then you cursed at me for not making you
pancakes before you stumbled back to your house. How long you been off the
wagon? A few days. I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't tell anyone. It's just a
temporary relapse. I'll get it under control. Look... isolating yourself is only
gonna make matters worse. You got a great group of friends. Reach out to them. I
can't. We're not on speaking terms right now.
Well, I'm sure you can fix that. I tried. But they all seem to hate me. Well, my
recommendation? Start with the one who hates you the least. Oh. Not ready for
that. It's a beautiful day. I'd hate for you to waste another one with a
hangover. Thank you, Ben. See ya. I know Chuck could tell I was lying. I always
do that thing when I lie. Wh-what thing? Oh, like I'm gonna tell you. You have
no idea how terrifying it was. Look, have a drink. It'll calm you down.
I don't want a drink. - Really? - Of course I want a drink. See? I'm a terrible
liar. Look, if Chuck had something concrete, we'd know. I'm sure he's just
fishing. He is not gonna let up. He is just waiting till I crack. Honey, you're
panicking over nothing. The body's gone. Chuck doesn't have a case without it.
No, the only way this thing blows up is if somebody talks. Are you not listening
to me? I talk. Me. I'm the one who's gonna send us away. We need to get out of
town, just for a few weeks, until Chuck finds someone else to focus on. Not only
would that look incredibly suspicious, we don't have the kind of money to do
something like that.
Okay. Money. We need money. We can have a garage sale. Grab some chairs. I'll
put up some flyers. Trust me. We're gonna stay here, and everything is gonna be
fine. Wow. You're an even worse liar than I am. Oh. Hello. Excuse me. Hello?
Someone is never gonna finish "The help." What can I do for you? I need to speak
with my husband, Carlos Solis. Is it an emergency? No. I just need to tell him
something.
Then I can't allow you. Mr. Solis is still on restricted access. What does that
mean? Uh, first week after admission, no visitors, cell phones, or e-mails. No
distractions. We only want our patients to focus on getting better. Okay, but I
really need to talk to him. I'm sorry. Those are the rules. Well, rules are made
to be broken. I'm sure there's a "No boobs on the counter" rule, too. Seriously?
Male nurse. Right. You can come back on Tuesday. - It's all my fault! - It
wasn't your fault. - I should've seen the signs.
- It was mine. I was never around. - Kid didn't have a role model. - We're
getting you help, Jimmy. - They're gonna take care of you here. - I don't need
this place. - I told you. I don't have a problem. - Manzani. We called.
Admissions is right through that door. Thank you. Come on. It's gonna be all
right. We should've seen this coming. Jimmy, we're only doing this because we
love you.
Such a tragedy. So much potential. All right, gotta go. Excuse me. Where are you
supposed to be? Oh, uh, I'm with them... the Manzinis. If you're with the
family, you need to stay for group counseling. Oh, I don't think I have much to
contribute. It's vital. This way. Come on, Tom. I know you're there. Fine. I'll
get in another way and pound on your door until you open up. Yes? Hola. My name
is Maria.
I forgot the keys to Mr. Tom's casa. Could you let me in, por favor? There's no
Mr. Tom here. You have the wrong apartment. No. I am doing the cleaning for Mr.
Tom. Wow. Impersonating a maid stereotype. Pathetic much? Oh, Chloe, look, I
know your mother and my husband are leaving for Paris. I just need to talk to
Tom for five minutes before they head to the airport. They left an hour ago.
Who's there? I got it, Ms. Schoenfield. This is Ms.
Schoenfield. Do you know what flight they're taking? It's really important I
talk with Tom. He's not picking up his phone. Jeez, stalk much? Come on. Come
on. I'm not a stalker. Seriously? My mom told me you were hiding under his bed
while they were in it. So I'm certainly not going to help you sabotage her trip
to Paris. Listen to me. Something happened yesterday. And I can't go into it,
but Tom needs to be here... not for me, for the kids. Please. Please. Fine. I've
got their flight information upstairs.
Thank you. It's clear Jimmy feels conflicted about whether or not he belongs in
rehab, but his loved ones... all of you in this room... are here because you
care deeply about helping him. So let's start by sharing with Jimmy the ways his
drinking has impacted your lives. Mrs. Manzani, go ahead. Well, actually, can I
go first? I have somewhere I need to be. Who are you? I thought you worked here.
No. No. No. I am... his girlfriend. Ex-girlfriend, you know, since all the
problems started. Girlfriend? Another thing you didn't tell us about.
She's not my girlfriend. I never seen her before. Yeah. That's the problem right
there. You know, how can you have a relationship when your boyfriend drinks and
doesn't even remember you? Why are you wearing a wedding ring? Oh... 'cause I
moved on. That's right, Jimmy. You had to hear it. I seriously had you for a
girlfriend? You are smoking hot. Yeah, I am. Oh, my god. I do have a problem. I
was with someone like you. I don't even remember it. Mom, pop, I want to get
better. Oh, Jimmy! That's the spirit, Jimmy! Now there's a lot of people in here
just like you who can help you, like, uh, like Jason Hurwitz and Peter Morton
and Carlos Solis, room 247.
Okay. Good luck. Gaby, what are you doing here? Are the kids okay? Yeah, the
kids are fine. I just needed to talk to you. What's this? You don't lift a
finger at home, but here you vacuum? This is my group task. Recovery here is
based on two core principles... responsibility and total honesty. Okay. Great.
Come in here. I need to talk to you about a lie. So when Chuck asks what made
you start drinking... and I'm guessing he will... say you cheated on me. - With
who? - It doesn't matter. Someone ugly.
Don't go overboard. So... Chuck saw Susan's paintings, he's questioned each of
you, and you think this one lie is going to throw him off? He's got nothing
else. Gaby, let me tell you something about cops. What you think he knows is
about one-tenth of what he does know. We have got to stop this guy. God, this is
a hell of a time for me to be stuck in here. No, honey. Hey, hey, it's gonna be
fine, okay? You just focus on getting better. I'll try. Okay, well, I should get
out of here before they find me. Tell the girls I miss 'em? They miss you, too.
Mr. Bergman, hi. Uh, remember me? Remember you? Susan Delfino, you sold five
paintings 20 minutes into your first art show. You are my prodigy.
Are you here to revel in your glory? Actually, no, uh, see, I'm... uh, kind of
in a rough spot right now. Oh, dear. You seem a bit agitated. You're not
considering jumping off a bridge, are you? But if you are, could you please
leave behind a large body of work for me to sell? No. Uh, it's just, um... I
need the money from my paintings, please. Oh. I just started on the paperwork.
You should receive a check in uh, four to six weeks. Oh, no, no, no. I-I need it
now. I, um... Have to get out of town for a while. My housewife just got even
more interesting. Are you a junkie? Gambler? Are you on the run from the mob? I
can't tell you what it is.
I just really need that money. Well, here's the thing... um, I am having a
teensy bit of a cash-flow problem. But I assure you, eight to ten weeks... I
thought you said four to six. Okay, not so teensy. Mr. Bergman, I wouldn't ask
if it wasn't really important. No, I will see what I can do, but no promises...
my mysterious little housewife. That's nice. What's that for? Oh, you were
right. A hug should be for something, like the one I saw you giving Bree this
morning. What was that for? Oh, Renee. That was nothing. Oh, so you're just
going door-to-door giving hugs? What, is that an australian thing? Look, there
is nothing between me and Bree.
She's just going through something right now. I was a shoulder to cry on. Oh, as
long as that shoulder isn't a gateway body part. Oh, I'm sorry to interrupt. I
only need a minute. I just have to ask you a couple questions about your
girlfriend. So ask me. I'm standing right here. Not you. Bree. Funny. We were
just talking about your girlfriend Bree. Good-bye. Renee... Why the hell would
you do that for? I don't know. Just trying to make your life miserable.
Oh, and I got more. I'm tracking down a missing person. It turns out his last
phone signal came from somewhere on your construction site. I don't know
anything about that. Doesn't matter. Still a great reason to shut you down. How
long? Two weeks. Maybe a month. I don't know. Oh, let me guess... as long as it
takes for me to lose my investment, yeah? That sounds about right. You're not
getting on that property without a warrant. Oh, jeez. Where would a detective
get one of those? See you Monday. Oh, my god. This tastes so good.
I know. It reminds me of the first time Lynette and I ever flew first class. We
had been so used to traveling coach... - Tom? - Yeah? Please don't take this the
wrong way, but... you're on a romantic trip with your girlfriend. Do you think
it could just stay the two of us? I'm sorry. Old habits. That is the last time
you'll hear of Lynette. To Paris... ma chйrie. Good. Stay close with that mop.
Flight 502 to Paris will be boarding in five minutes. I'm gonna run to the men's
room. It's a long flight, and airplane bathrooms freak me out. Well, there goes
one fantasy.
Hey, Lynette. What the hell are you doing here? I need to talk to you. I can't
believe you. You think I want to chase you down in an airport men's room? Now
listen to me. I can only breathe through my mouth for a few minutes. Well, you
can save your breath, 'cause I am going... I am going to Paris with Jane, and
I'm sorry if you're having a hard time with it. This isn't about you and Jane.
Look. See? Good with it. Okay? Okay, good. Then-then why are you here? Because
you can't go to Paris, not now. Okay, I'm confused. You don't care if I go to
Paris with Jane, but you're telling me I can't go to Paris with Jane. I'm sorry.
I have to tell you something, but it's just really hard to say...
I'm sorry, but my plane is boarding. I have to go. I'm an accessory to murder.
Here. Let me help you with this. I think you've helped enough. Gaby, please. I
can't stand this anymore. Can't we talk for a minute? To be honest, after what
Chuck put me through, I'm kind of talked out. Wait. What do you mean? He
interrogated us... me, Lynette, and Susan. He called us down to the station and
grilled us one by one. Why didn't he call me down there? Good question, given
this whole thing is about you. What are you talking about? Bree, he wants
revenge. He wants to bring you down, and we're all gonna go down with you.
Gaby, please. I will figure out a way to make things better. No, you won't. This
isn't gonna stop until Chuck is stopped. Say something. Why didn't you tell me
this? I wanted to, a hundred times, but we weren't together anymore, and it
seemed wrong to drag you into it. Tom? Plane's boarding. You've got to be
kidding me. Jane, I'm sorry. I know what this must look like. Really? You know
what it looks like to walk into a men's room and find your boyfriend's ex
chatting him up before your flight to Paris? It's not like that. Of course not.
I'm the crazy one. You two rendez-vous-ing in an airport toilet? I'm the nut
job. She's hiding under your bed? Jane's the one who needs to be sedated. Tom, I
really can't deal with this right now.
Can we just go? You are not doing this to me right now. We will go at the end of
this month. I promise. Jane. Jane, it's really not Tom's fault. Tom... honey...
you know what she's doing, right? You give in here, now, it'll never stop. I am
so sorry. It... but... - there are extenuating circumstances. - Okay. Then tell
me. Tell me what they are. I think I at least deserve that.
Okay. I'm going to Paris, and if you want, you can meet me there. I'm so sorry.
Lynette, don't. Just... don't talk. Oh, my god! You brought it. Now before I
give it to you... oh, well, that never works. What I was going to say... I have
a little proposition for you. Oh, calm down. It's not sex. Dang it. I believe
you have that certain something that makes a great artist. Maybe it's talent.
Maybe it's mental illness. All I heard was "Great artist." Keep going. Fairview
is not the fertile ground required for you to grow. I think we need to move your
skinny little tush to New York City. Move? Uh, no. I just need to get away for a
few weeks. I'll set you up in an apartment. You paint. I'll take 50% of whatever
I sell, but let's not get bogged down in how the sausage gets made. What about
my family? My son is in the middle of third grade. New York has the best private
schools in the world. He can wear a little blazer to school. Heck, if he can fit
into a child's medium, I can loan him one of mine. I never really thought about
moving before. Well, what is keeping you here? Yeah, not much. Okay.
Think it over. But if you turn me down, then I'll know... it's mental illness. I
want to offer you a deal. A deal? Really? Terms? Whatever I've done... or
whatever it is you think I've done... you... write it up, and I'll sign a
confession. In exchange for... you leave my friends out of it. Oh, darn. I was
actually interested there for a minute. What do you hope to gain by harassing my
friends? What do you want? This. You in pain. You see, I could never figure out
a way to hurt you the way you hurt me. If you had any idea how much I'm hurting
already...
It's not enough. You know why? Because you're too resilient. Husbands die, kids
leave, businesses collapse, and Bree always bounces back. But threaten her
friends? Please. You're talking about the people I love. They're my whole world.
I have nothing else. You have nothing else? That's a bad position to make a deal
from. Sorry. Hey, you remember that deal I wanted to make with you? You marry me
and I take care of you the rest of your life? Maybe you should've taken it. Hey.
You're old and pretty much housebound. Have you noticed if Ben's been
"Entertaining" a lot lately? This is what I get for not having a pit bull. I
think he's cheating on me. Ben? No, he-he seems like a great guy. My ex was a
great guy, too.
Ask any stripper in New York City. Oh, my god! I cannot go through that again.
I-I just can't. Renee, I may not be your biggest fan or... even like you, but
there's one thing no one can argue with... you are hot. Pardon? Look at you.
You're a knockout... those gams, those curves, that killer smile. Basically
you're me 35 years ago. So this is my future? The point is, whoever this woman
is, she can't hold a candle to you. Oh, thank you, Karen. Now go out there and
fight for your man. You're right. Tonight I will throw on a little nothing and
make a house call. Thatta girl.
You know what? I wish I had known you 35 years ago. We would've made a hell of a
team. Hey, we still can if the aussie's into it. Stop packing. We're not moving.
Don't you see how great this is? Living in New York, getting paid to paint...
it's an amazing opportunity. To uproot our family and move somewhere we've never
lived before? So we'll go for a few weeks and see how we like it. Susan, you do
know that if Chuck wants to take you down, moving to New York's not gonna stop
him. I know that. Well, then why would you want to give up the life we have
here, after all this time? Because it's different. Before, all I had to do was
look out that window and I'd see a true friend... someone who would do anything
for me or my family, but now... it's all gone. You think you're gonna find that
somewhere else? You're just running. Okay.
So I'm running. Mike, if I get caught, I could go away for a lot of years. So in
the meantime, why not try to live the life I've dreamed of? It's not my dream.
And if this is something that you need to do, you're on your own. - Hello, Gaby.
- Celia, get back here! - Is this a bad time? - Give me that now! Celia! Chuck,
I have 2 daughters under 13. It's always a bad time. Yeah, why don't you just
step outside here for a second? So did you talk to Carlos? He's obviously
ashamed of his affair. The whoremonger. But at least he's honest about it. No. I
wound up taking a different angle on the investigation. Actually, you were the
reason for that. Me? What do you mean? Do you remember when we were talking
about this guy? Vaguely. I remember it vividly, 'cause it was the oddest
thing... You see, when Susan saw this picture, she nearly passed out.
And when Lynette saw it, she willed herself into not reacting. But you... you
smirked. That's crazy. Why would I do that? Same question I asked myself. So I
started doing some digging into your background. Turns out, Ramon Sanchez,
formerly of Oklahoma, is actually... Alejandro Perez... your stepfather. And you
never mentioned that. Oh, come on, Chuck. You can't even see who... at this
point, I don't think you should say anything without a lawyer present. Wait. Am
I under arrest? Not yet. But based on this, I have to start an official case
file.
I'm gonna need you to come down to headquarters for an interview. Be there
tomorrow at 10:00. And, Gaby, if you don't... I'll send a squad car to get you.
Hi. I need to speak with Carlos Solis immediately. - I'm sorry, but Mr. Solis...
- Yeah, I know. I know you have that anoying no-contact policy, but this is an
emergency. Mr. Solis isn't here. He checked himself out two hours ago. What? Why
didn't you stop him? He was not in a mood to be stopped. Ben, are you in there?
I'm wearing leather and I'm getting cold. Ben? Bree, no need to call me back.
Just wanted to let you know that my unofficial investigation's about to go
official. Be at the station tomorrow morning at 10:00. Bring a lawyer. Just when
my friends needed each other most, they found themselves utterly alone... One
with the frantic need to find her husband... One with the consequences of
revealing a painful secret... And one with the feeling that she simply no longer
belonged. But for one of my friends, the sense of isolation was so complete...
Here you go. There might be no escaping it. Continental breakfast runs till
10:30, but the good stuff's gone by 8:00. Oh, I don't think I'll be having
breakfast. Thank you. Suit yourself. Do you remember how wonderful things used
to be on the lane? I had the perfect life. Doctor husband... two beautiful
children... oh, and such dear friends. What happened? How did I lose it all?
Things change, Bree. I'm so unhappy. Are you happy now? I'm not unhappy.
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