GENDER DIFFERENCES AND NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION: THE MOST
IMPORTANT STATE OF TOUR de FORCE (POWER PLAY) BETWEEN MALE AND
FEMALE COMMUNICATION
Prof. Dr. Ahmet Haluk YÜKSEL
Anadolu University
Communication Sciences Faculty
Eskisehir/TURKEY
Towards A Definition of Non-verbal Communication
The etymological root of the term “communicatio” means sharing and distributing. Related to
this, communication is used loosely to mean the transmission of information regardless of its origin or
destination. We can say shortly by the well known definition “communication is the process of sharing
information” But, it would be one of the greatest mistakes that can be made in the field of human
cummunication to describe communication between people as a static process which can be defined
as a transferring process of knowledge, emotion, opinion, attitude or beliefs together with the
ways of behaviour from one person (people) to the other (others) through the relation between
the source and the receiver by using some channels and with the aim of change. Since the process
indicates dynamism all the time from moment to moment with the frame of its own rules and
communication has a structure of a process, communication has an entirely dynamic structure because
of its existence and its being a process. According to this, what must be understood from the
suggestion that communication is circular is actually the process structure of communication.
It is possible to categorize communication depending upon various criteria such as the number
of people participate in communication, materials that are used and channels. One of these
categorizations is according to the codes used in communication or categorization of communication
that can be made structurally which is divided into two:
 Verbal Communication
 Oral-Audial
 Written
 Non-verbal Communication
Nonverbal communication includes facial expressions, tones of voice, gestures, eye contact,
spatial arrangements, patterns of touch, expressive movement, cultural differences, and other
"nonverbal" acts. Research suggests that nonverbal communication is more important in understanding
human behavior than words alone--the nonverbal "channels" seem to be more powerful than what
people say. Shortly; nonverbal communication refers to communication effected by means other than
words. Nonverbal communication is the process of sending and receiving wordless messages by
means of facial expressions, gaze, gestures, postures, and tones of voice. Also included are grooming
habits, body positioning in space, and consumer product design (e.g., clothing cues, food products,
artificial colors and tastes, engineered aromas, media images and computer-graphic displays).
Nonverbal cues include all expressive signs, signals and cues (audio, visual, tactile, chemical, etc.)-which are used to send and receive messages apart from manual sign language and speech. Each of us
gives and responds to thousands of nonverbal messages daily in our personal and professional lives-and while commuting back and forth between the two. From morning's kiss to business suits and
tense-mouth displays at the conference table, we react to wordless messages emotionally, often
without knowing why. The boss's head-nod, the clerk's bow tie, the next-door neighbor's hairstyle--we
notice the minutia of nonverbal behavior because their details reveal;
a. how we relate to each other, and
b. who we think we are.
Try to sit for one minute without speaking. Even if you are able to keep from moving you will still
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communicate rigidity, anxiety, or something. We are always saying something. It is important to
observe and try to understand what is being communicated. In many situations people say what they
think intellectually rather than what they feel emotionally. There is some truth in the old cliche
``actions speak louder than words.'' Body language, carefully observed and interpreted, can tell a lot
about what others are feeling. Nonverbal communication is learned and practiced often on an
unconscious level. We attract people by using these nonverbal signals, and sometimes those we attract
(or who are attracted to us) are unwholesome. As we grow older and become more aware of ourselves
we should be able to recognize and weed out the unwholesome in favor of those for whom we have an
affinity. Nonverbal Communication-information that is communicated without using words. By
considering all these, definitions that can be described as functional can be made as follows:“It
consists of the codes which occur naturally in communication such as intonation, facial
expressions, mimics, gestures, body movements, colours, accessories. In other words, it consists of
the communication codes made up of non-verbal signs, involves also the voices other than words.”
In other words; “In a given situation or context, it is a dynamic process in which non-verbal
behaviours are performed individually or together with verbal behaviours during the exchange,
interpretation or analyze of meanings.”
Aspects and Classification of Nonverbal Communication
Nonverbal communication has received much attention in the areas of business presentation,
sales and marketing, and the development of social skills. Little attention, however, has been given to
its importance in general communication despite major differences in cultural use and interpretation of
body language, expression, personal space and other nonverbal tools. It is estimated that less than ten
percent of interpersonal communication involves words, the remainder being made up of voice tone,
sounds and a variety of devices such as kinetics (movement), haptics (touch), oculesics (eye-contact),
proxemics (space) and chronomics (time) as well as posture, sound symbols and silence, which either
replace or accompany words. Different studies have identified a wide variety of types of nonverbal
communication. The following is a relatively simple classification:
Kinesics
Proxemics
Haptics
Oculesics
Chronemics
Olfactics
Vocalics
Sound Symbols
Silence
Adornment
Posture
Locomotion
Expression
body motions (blushes, shrugs, eye
movement, foot-tapping, drumming fingers)
spatial separation (in relation both the social
and physical environment)
touch
eye contact
use of time, waiting, pausing
smell
tone of voice, timbre, volume, speed
grunting, mmm, er, ah, uh-huh, mumbling,
absence of sound (muteness, stillness,
secrecy)
clothing, jewellery, hairstyle
position of the body (characteristic or
assumed)
walking, running, staggering, limping
frowns, grimaces, smirks, smiles, pouting
It is often assumed that nonverbal communication is a transferable skill. However, there are two major
problematic factors: firstly that, like speech, it has both form and function, and, secondly, that it is not
always directly translatable. It is the first of these factors which makes nonverbal communication
difficult to teach, and the second which leads to breakdowns and misunderstandings in intercultural
communication. Gestures, expressions and all other forms of nonverbal communication have
functions, which, as with language, need to be taught along with their forms. In the same way as
language items, some paralinguistic expressions have several functions, while nonverbal
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communication in general performs the three basic functions of managing identity, defining
relationships, and conveying attitudes and feelings (but not ideas):
Form
Nod (Yes)
Shrug (I don’t know)
Scratch head, quizzical look
Tone of voice, pointing
Hand raised
Head shake
Eye movements
Staring/Looking down or away
Raised fist
Hand-shake
Touching, kissing
Over-adornment
Main Function (in some cultures)
Repeating
Substituting
Complementing
Accenting
Regulating, turn taking
Contradicting
Deceiving
Dominating/Submitting
Aggression
Socialising
Arousal
Boasting
Misunderstandings occur because the functions of paralinguistic forms vary from culture to culture,
although there are some universal nonverbals such as smiles, laughter and sour expressions. There are
also differences according to gender and age. Nonverbal communication tends to be relatively
ambiguous and open to interpretation while its influence often depends on the nature of the ‘listener’,
particularly when it is unclear whether the messages conveyed are deliberate or unconscious.
Nonverbal indicators are most common in polychronic cultures, in which an individual often performs
several tasks simultaneously. The following are examples of common gestures which have different
functions and meanings in different cultures:
Perfect
Commonlyeverything is all
right, perfect.
France-worthless
Japan-money
Germany-rude
Malta,
Greece,
Brazil-obscene
Thumbs up
Commonly-all OK
Australia, Iran-rude
Nigeria-very offensive
Japan-five
Turkey-political
rightist party
The ‘fig’
Stop
Commonly-stop,
Turkey,
Greece,
enough(person, car, Tunisia,
Hollandaction)
obscene
Turkey - you get Russia-you
get
nothing from me
nothing from me
W. Africa - you have Brazil-good luck
5 fathers
Former Yugoslaviayou can’t have it
Although we continually send and receive nonverbal messages, most of us are not fully aware of the
ways that we communicate nonverbally. Still, if you watch carefully, you will see that most leading
professionals (e.g., doctors, lawyers, politicians, corporate chief executive officers, and contract
negotiators) are excellent nonverbal communicators. Some people call it charisma. Others call it style.
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Commonly, nonverbal communication is learned shortly after birth and practiced and refined
throughout a person’s lifetime. Children first learn nonverbal expressions by watching and imitating,
much as they learn verbal skills.
Humans use nonverbal communication because:
1. Words have limitations: There are numerous areas where nonverbal communication is more
effective than verbal (when explain the shape, directions, personalities are expressed
nonverbally)
2. Nonverbal signal are powerful: Nonverbal cues primary express inner feelings (verbal
messages deal basically with outside world).
3. Nonverbal message are likely to be more genuine: because nonverbal behaviors cannot be
controlled as easily as spoken words.
4. Nonverbal signals can express feelings inappropriate to state: Social etiquette limits what can
be said, but nonverbal cues can communicate thoughts.
5. A separate communication channel is necessary to help send complex messages: A speaker
can add enormously to the complexity of the verbal message through simple nonverbal
signals.
Recognizing Different Forms Of Nonverbal Communication
Conscious or Subliminal Messages. Nonverbal communications can involve conscious or subliminal
messages.

Conscious nonverbal communications.



Senders of conscious nonverbal communications are aware that they are sending a
message and the general meaning of that message. For example, the individuals
extending a hug know that they are embracing someone and that action is normally
perceived as indicating affection.
Receivers of conscious nonverbal communication are aware that they received the
message and the meaning intended by the sender. The receiver of a hug, for example,
generally realizes that the message is a sign of friendship.
Subliminal nonverbal communications. Subliminal messages are communicated to the
subconscious mind of the receiver. Receivers of subliminal messages are not consciously
aware of the message. However, these messages are important.







Gut reactions are frequently based upon your subconscious reading of subliminal
nonverbal communications.
Police and military uniforms subliminally communicate the authority of those wearing
them.
Well-dressed executives project success and credibility.
Poor dress transmits messages of failure and a lack of credibility.
Although subliminal messages do not create awareness on a conscious level, they still
influence the receiver. In fact, subliminal messages are often more powerful than
conscious messages. The advertising world is replete with examples of the value of
subliminal nonverbal messages.
Young, beautiful people are often seen in advertisements to communicate the
subconscious message that the advertised product is associated with youth and beauty.
Companies pay large sums of money to have their products appear in movies. While
these appearances are not typical product advertisements, the mere association of the
product with the movie transmits subliminal messages that will influence viewers.
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Voluntary or Involuntary Messages. Conscious and subliminal messages can both be transmitted
voluntarily or involuntarily.

Involuntary nonverbal communications. Most nonverbal messages are involuntarily. In
fact, many negotiators are not aware that they communicate nonverbally.
► Body language is one area where the involuntary nature of nonverbal communication
is particularly evident. Every day, people unintentionally convey nonverbal signals by
their facial expressions, gestures, and body postures. For example, people telling
falsehoods often involuntarily send a telltale nonverbal message to listeners by
frequently blinking their eyes.
► Because involuntary nonverbal communications represent unplanned physical
responses, this communication form tends to be particularly revealing and more
honest than verbal communication or even conscious nonverbal communication.

Voluntary nonverbal communications. Nonverbal communication can also be controlled by
a knowledgeable person.
► A person who knows that people telling falsehoods often blink their eyes can take
special care not to blink when telling a falsehood.
► A person who knows that a hug indicates friendship can consciously hug his/her
worst enemy as trick to put the person off guard or as part of an effort to improve
their relationship.
Interpreting Nonverbal Messages. You must interpret nonverbal messages as part of the overall
communication system.

Typically, an individual nonverbal message is difficult to accurately interpret in isolation
because most messages have several possible meanings. For example:




A yawn might indicate a lack of interest, physical fatigue, or both.
Rapid eye blinking might indicate deceit or just poor fitting contact lenses.
A nonverbal message is easiest to interpret when it is consistent with other communications
that you are receiving at the same time. For example, you might be more likely to interpret
rapid eye blinking as indicative of dishonesty if the person also avoids eye contact while
speaking.
An inconsistent nonverbal message may be impossible to interpret. However, an apparently
negative nonverbal message should raise a red flag indicating that you should look more
carefully for related verbal or nonverbal clues. Look for messages that correlate with each
other so that you can make a more accurate interpretation.
Cultural Differences. Always consider cultural differences when you send or receive nonverbal
messages. A message that has a particular meaning in one society can have a completely different
meaning in another society. For example, in the United States we encourage eye contact as an
indicator of honesty and interest. People in some other societies believe that they should look down
when talking to another person to indicate deference and respect. For them, direct eye contact might be
considered offensive and disrespectful.
Why is non-verbal communication important?
Basically, it is one of the key aspects of communication (and especially important in a highcontext culture). It has multiple functions:

Used to repeat the verbal message (e.g. point in a direction while stating directions.
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




Often used to accent a verbal message. (e.g. verbal tone indicates the actual meaning
of the specific words).
Often complement the verbal message but also may contradict. E.g.: a nod reinforces
a positive message (among Americans); a “wink” may contradict a stated positive
message.
Regulate interactions (non-verbal cues covey when the other person should speak or
not speak).
May substitute for the verbal message (especially if it is blocked by noise,
interruption, etc) — i.e. gestures (finger to lips to indicate need for quiet), facial
expressions (i.e. a nod instead of a yes).
Note the implications of the proverb: “Actions speak louder than words.” In essence,
this underscores the importance of non-verbal communication. Non-verbal
communication is especially significant in intercultural situations. Probably nonverbal differences account for typical difficulties in communicating.
GENDER DIFFERENCES IN NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION
CENTRAL ASSUMPTION:
Men and women communicate differently, as each tends to focus on different parts of nonverbal
communication. In general, women prefer higher levels of nonverbal commmunication than men.
Women's nonverbal behavior is used to make personal connections. While men's nonverbal
communication tends to parallel behaviors associated with dominance and power. Regarding the
differences between gender, there are many areas of nonverbal communication that is going to be
mentioned:
 KINESICS (body motions (blushes, shrugs, eye movement, foot-tapping, drumming fingers)
 OCULESICS (eye contact and gaze)
 HAPTICS(touch)
 PROXEMICS (spatial separation)
KINESICS - body movement(gestures, facial expression, posture)
WOMEN Compared to Men
Facial and body motions generally signal
approachability, friendliness
They use less and more restrained gestures
Smile even when not happy due to socialized
rules of women needing to be more expressive
More likely to be interupted if smiling
MEN Compared to Women
Face and body motions tend to indicate more
reservation and control.
They use gestures more.
Display less emotion through smiling due to
socialized rules to remain emotionally neutral.
More likely to interrupt speakers who are
smiling.
The more they smile to a person, the more
attractive they are perceived by the person.
They use mostly facial expression in receiving
and sending messages.
They tilt their head and body to the side more
often.
They don't send or receive facial expressions as
much.
Their posture is more relaxed.
They nod their head a lot.
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OCULESICS - eye contact, gaze
WOMEN Compared to Men
MEN Compared to Women
They rarely set their eyes on somebody or rarely They set their eyes on somebody for challenging,
stare.
inviting to a combat, possibly in the context of
their power or status.
They use eye-contact more during the speech or They show a sign of interest by setting their eyes
engage in more eye contact while conversating.
on somebody or signal interest by staring.
They are signal interest by sustaining eye contact.
They generally don't make as much eye contact.
They break eye contact more.
They usually maintain initial gaze until other
party averts eyes.
They generally the first to avert eyes on initial
gaze.
More likely to be interupted when eye contact
isn't maintained with the next speaker.
HAPTICS - touch and the use of it
WOMEN Compared to Men
They are touched more than men.
They are touched mostly by men.
They associate touch with warmth
expressions.
They are touched more softly and gently.
MEN Compared to Women
They are touched less than women.
They mostly initiate touch towards women more.
and They are touched more harshly.
They use touch to direct, assert power, express
sexual interest.
They initiate more hugging and touching that
expresses support, affection, comfort
PROXEMICS - space and the use of it
The Differences in Space and in Space Usage ( The people who have power tend to acquire bigger
spaces. For example bigger automobiles, offices, houses etc.)
WOMEN Compared to Men
MEN Compared to Women
Spatial zones are drawn closer; in other words, They mostly use personal space.
they become smaller.
They tend to approach closer to the others.
They more likely to invade others personal space
especially women .
They prefer interaction side by side.
They prefer face to face conversation.
Apart from these, generally when people think that their personal spaces are occupied, they
keep men away from themselves at a certain distance; however they may let women stay closer.
Moreover, women keep their arms and legs closer to their bodies. Men control their facial expressions
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during a speech or a discussion. Women let people stay closer to themselves when compared to men
during face-to-face interactions.
Along with sexuality, age, social groups and personal qualities, life periods are also
determinative factors in colour choice. The reason of individuals’ being brave in colour preferences in
their youth is that they don’t have unnecessary limitations and they haven’t learned the colour
harmony. In the oncoming ages, major colours are prefered. Individuals develop their colour
preferences by being influenced from the intellectual tastes of the group they belong. Character
development is the another factor influential in colour choice. While the social classes with high
income express a positive tendency mostly towards light colours, pale shadows, harmonious
compositions and soft, sensitive tones, the social classes with low income prefer strong and bright
tones.
Women and men communicate in different ways expressing a tendency towards focusing on
different points of non-verbal communication. Women, generally, prefer higher level of non-verbal
communication. While women use non-verbal communication in establishing personal connections,
the non-verbal communication that men use tend to be parallel behaviors accompanied by power and
dominance. Non-verbal communication differences between women and men mostly focus on the
titles of body movements, glance and eye contact, touching, space and space usage. Apart from these,
generally when people think that their personal spaces are occupied, they keep men away from
themselves at a certain distance; however they may let women stay closer. Moreover, women keep
their arms and legs closer to their bodies. Men control their facial expressions during a speech or a
discussion. Women let people stay closer to themselves when compared to men during face-to-face
interactions. All these differences turn to “tour de force” between women and men.
The mentioned differences are the results that are determined by the obsevations and nonstructured in depth interviews in Communication Sciences Faculty students in Anadolu University
Türkiye. Definitely the differences about non verbal communication for genders that are discussed
above may vary due to the cultures.
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