Great Job Alanna!
Originality: 11/12
Elaboration/Development: 7/8
Craft: 8/8
Self-Eval – 4/4
Total – 30/32
Writing Assignment #4 – Final Essay Due Saturday, May 23rd
How are Science and Technology used to control people? Choose 2 stories and
compare/contrast.
Formal essays need a title
Science and technology controls people both in stories and in real life.(in what
stories? Introduce the books first) Laws are spawned from what is currently the accepted
sciences and technology.(within the cultures/societies of the books, not now, yes?)
Ender’s Game and Frankenstein (italics – info on underlining… Long ago and in a
galaxy far, far away, people had to type their work, or even write it out longhand. Unless
you had your own printing press, you couldn't do italics. Therefore, when something
needed to be italicized, that fact was represented by underlining. In other words,
underlining something is equivalent to italicizing it, so it is not proper to both italicize
and underline a title. (And, as with italics and quotation marks, titles are not underlined at
the head of an essay or article.) – just an interesting tidbit! ) are both books where
people base their actions upon the science and technology that they either own or are a
part of. Even if people do not realize it, everyone is affected and controlled by the
world’s science and technology.
Ender’s Game is a book about children that go to a battle school (and have?) that
has every type of the newest technology (comma) including ways to manipulate and
control the children there. The main character, Ender, is a gifted young boy who finds out
the ends to games that no others have gotten through. But what he doesn’t realize is that
some of the games he plays are more than just games, they are real. Each child who
attends the Battle School gets their own chance to use battle simulators, and so Ender
believes that that is what he is doing. In the “simulation”, Ender destroys the home planet
of the enemy in the game, and everyone cheers for him. When Ender questions why they
are cheering, Rackham tell him that he has completely destroyed the buggers. Graff and
Rackham had used the “game” to convince Ender to kill the buggers, which they knew he
would not do if told exactly what he was doing. In Ender’s Game, the technology of the
battle school is used to manipulate Ender to do what the leaders want him to do, even if it
hurts the person who is controlled.
In the book Frankenstein, Victor is able enough in the world of technology to
create life out of body parts from deceased people. Victor Frankenstein decides to do this
without thinking of the consequences that his actions may pose. When Victor
successfully brings the monster to life, the monster is not what he expected. Disgusted by
his work, Frankenstein leaves the monster to fend for himself, and subsequently, the
monster becomes quite upset with Victor, so he decides to attack those close to Victor.
Without realizing it, Victor tries to appeal to the monster so that the monster doesn’t
commit any more crimes. By doing so, the monster is controlling Victor because Victor
will do anything to not become accused and found guilty of creating such a horrible
monster. The monster is able to control Victor by simply scaring him into doing the
actions the monster craves him to do, such as creating a mate. When Victor rebels and
tries to control himself, the monster proves that he is the one controlling Victor.
In both the books Ender’s Game and Frankenstein, people are controlled by the
technology created by them or around them. In both cases, neither of the main characters
realizes that they are being controlled until the actions they have taken cannot be
reversed. In Frankenstein especially, characters are forced to do what they are told in fear
of what else may happen. Ender would be kicked out and always be a Third,
discriminated against, and Victor would be put on trial and most likely accused. Both
books have great examples of being controlled unintentionally, and so I (no I, we, you,
us, etc. in a formal essay) believe that everyone is affected by technology in their own
way.
District Co-op Project
Rubric for Creative Writing
Name of Student Being Evaluated: Alanna Pahnke Name of Evaluator: Rae & Janet
Assignment Description: Writing Assignment #4
Criteria
Minimal
1
Basic
2
Proficient
3
Originality
Uses “cliché” or
ordinary ideas; lacks
interest for the
audience
Ideas are interesting
but not unique;
somewhat interesting
for the audience
Elaboration/
Development
Few details; lacks
connection to the
theme; little
development
Some details;
connection to the
theme is not clear;
content mostly
knowledge level
Some unique ideas;
interesting but not
surprising; captures the
audience’s attention but
may not be compelling
Some details with evidence
of connection to the
theme/message; ideas fairly
well developed with some
analysis shown
Craft
Student demonstrates
awareness of audience
and purpose in word
Student uses
deliberate word
choice and some
Makes good use of the
possible connotations in
word choice. 1-3
Adva
(Exem
Unique i
elements o
compels a
rethink
persp
Multiple de
connect
theme/mes
developed
high levels
and sy
Incorporate
uses of lan
sentence s
choice and sentence
structure. Many
grammatical errors.
Revision
(if applicable)
Student makes some
attempt at selfassessment
variety in sentence
structure appropriate
to form. 4-6
grammatical errors.
Student identifies
some strengths and
weakness in own
writing
Student Self Score _________
(if applicable)
Peer Score __________
(if applicable)
Instructor Initial Score ________
Final Score ________
grammatical errors.
enhance s
fr
Student demonstrates
awareness of the standards
of good writing; evaluates
strengths and weaknesses
in own writing
Student us
to creat
effectiv
Late Penalty __________(loss of 10% per
day; no credit given after 3 days)