Training
For The
Conversation
Virginia Wingard UMC
Sept. 15, 2012
Why do we
need to have
the
Conversation?
How We Got Here
• The church developed a certification system for
training leaders in Human Sexuality in the 70’s.
• This system was shut down because of concerns about
both process and content.
• These “certified” leaders continued to lead sexuality
events.
• Several people (including me) chose to write their own.
• Created By God and Let’s Be Real. Were written.
• Created By God was updated, Lets Be Real was not.
• Young People’s Ministries is working on a new
resource.
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Why It’s Important
• God created sexuality, it is a theologically important topic.
• Young people need to hear a clear message from the
church that their sexuality is one of God’s good gifts.
• School curriculum on the topic, “street wisdom,” and
parental discussions may lack a comprehensive approach as
to the role of sexuality in the life of a Christian.
• We live in a sexualized world where the vulnerability of
adolescence is readily co-opted for the benefit of others.
• As United Methodist, we affirm God’s good gift of sexuality
and “call everyone to responsible stewardship of this
sacred gift.”*
* The Social Principles, United Methodist Book of Discipline.
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Why its Difficult
• Most of us would rather avoid controversy.
• Many of us have never dealt with our own
issues around sexuality.
• FEAR of how youth/their parents will respond.
• Lack of Biblical background.
• Concern about doing something wrong.
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A Few Facts
• Only 13% of teens have had vaginal intercourse by the
age of 15, almost 70% have by the age of 19.
• Average age of first sexual experience is 17.
• In 2006-2008 the most often cited reason by teens for
not having sex was that is was against their religion or
morals.
• 15-24 year olds make up almost 50% of the STI
incidents yearly (9.1 million). 13-24 year olds make up
17% of HIV/AIDS infections.
• Each year 750,000 15-19 year old girls become
pregnant. Approximately 200,000 end in abortion.
*”Facts on American Teen’s Sexual and Reproductive Health” www.guttmacher.org, January 2011.
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Facts Closer to Home
• Fifty-three percent of South Carolina’s high school students
report ever having had sex.
• South Carolina has the 9th highest teen pregnancy rate in the
nation.
• There are over 7000 people living with AIDS in South Carolina.
• South Carolina has the nation’s 3rd highest gonorrhea rate.
• Students reported using condoms the last time they had sex at
rates lower than the national rate.
http://www.amplifyyourvoice.org/main.cfm?s=amplify&actionId=globalShowStaticContent&screenKey=cmpState&htmlKey=stateSouthCa
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Addressing the Topic
• Know and share why it is important for your
congregation to deal with the topic.
– General statistics
• Understand and communicate the relevance
to the needs of young people in your
particular congregation/community.
– Local statistics/stories
• Understand and communicate the UMC’s
stance on the topic.
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Develop a Plan
• Decide on a resource/resources. Involve others.
• Use your church’s decision-making process.
Avoid surprising people.
• Recruit leadership carefully/prayerfully.
• Provide training.
• Communicate with the whole congregation.
• Develop a support system.
• Meet with parents.
• Use material appropriately.
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Training
For The
Conversation
Overview of
Material
Big Ideas of
Good Sex
2.0
1. We are created in God’s image –
male & female
Big Ideas of
Good Sex
2.0
2. Sexuality is a wonderful,
complex gift that takes a
lifetime to explore.
Big Ideas of
Good Sex
2.0
3. Sex touches every part of us…
bodies, minds, emotions, spirits,
and relationships
Big Ideas of
Good Sex
2.0
4. Sex is affected by our brokenness
and wrongdoing, just like
everything else about us.
Big Ideas of
Good Sex
2.0
5. Sex can be rescued and renewed
by the grace of Christ, just like
everything else about us.
Preparation
Components
* Parent’s Meeting
* Additional ideas for parent partnerships
* Pointers for gaining pastoral support
7 Session
Topics
1. Sex Messaging – responding to
cultural message teens are
wading through
7 Session
Topics
2. Sexual Identity – Helping kids
think about the forces that
share their sexuality.
7 Session
Topics
3. Intimacy – Helping kids think
about dating & non-sexual
closeness.
7 Session
Topics
4. Desire – Helping kids understand
their appetites and needs.
7 Session
Topics
5. Boundaries – helping kids decide
what to do with their sexuality.
7 Session
Topics
6. Responsibility – helping kids take
sexual responsibility.
7 Session
Topics
7. Do-Overs – Helping kids
experience mercy, repentance,
forgiveness, and restoration.
Session
Format
* Now: what’s happening w/students’
sexuality NOW?
* New: what NEW perspectives can we glean
from scripture?
* How: HOW do we want to live differently?
Overview of
Material
Created by God
James H. Richey jr. Ed.D
Created by God
 Scripture based
 Affirms growth and change as part of
God’s plan
 Recognizes and celebrates sexuality as a
good gift from God.
 Gives guidelines for lifelong loving
relationships
 Examines intimacy
 Challenges all to make careful decisions
 Celebrates God’s love and forgiveness
What is the Parents’ Role
Parents are primary sexuality educator
from birth
Parents are most influential
Working in partnership with the church
Session I
Parent and Child Orientation
• Introduction to the course
– Why we should offer sex education in the
church.
– Parents’ Role and involvement
– Instructions for a weekend event
– Overview of each session
– Opportunity to write down questions
– Created by God assumptions
key Scripture
•Genesis 1.25-31a
Created by God Assumptions
To be human is to be sexual
Sexuality is a good gift from God, to be
used wisely.
Session 2
“Untangle it” game
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Welcome and prayer
Autograph collection
Whale story
Sing
Introduce the question box
Jesus in Jerusalem
Name that change
Writing of questions and looking at books
Puberty and adolescence
Create your own creation Biblical Study and craft
Respond to the question box
closing
Session 3
 Welcome , songs and prayer
 Adam and Eve
 Language
 Anatomy in Common
 External Reproduction System
 Respond to the question box
 Internal Reproduction system
 Concept of intimacy and Biblical foundation
 Small-Group review
 Closing
Session 4
Welcome, songs, and prayer
Respond to the question box
Reminders of concepts
Female growth and development
Male growth and development
Create male and female montages
Dating, falling in love, marriage
Review game
Song and closing
Session 5
Welcome, song, litany, and prayer
Reminders regarding marriage
Love and sexual intercourse
Conception, fetal development, and
childrenbirth
Respond to the question box
Session 6
Important Issues
Abstinence
Abuse , rape
Birth Control
Heterosexuality, homosexuality
Masturbation
Oral Sex
Session 6
More Important Issues
Internet, chat rooms, phone sex,
sexting
Pornography
Pregnancy –planned,unplanned
STD AND AIDS
Question Box and referral to book
Closing
Parents and Tweens
Together
Session 6
Parents and Tweens Together
Welcome and singing
Production game
Intimacy skit
Parent/tween directed conversation
Response forms
Litanies of love
Closing with song, scripture, and
blessing
Leadership Qualities Needed
1. Love and passion for the age-group
2. Be comfortable in your own skin
3. Have healthy and comfortable
relationship with both genders
4. Be able to put faith into words
5. Be willing to prepare
Leadership Qualities Continued
6. Be able to laugh
7. Be willing to remember
8. Be able to listen
9. Be energetic
10. Recognize your own limitations
Remember 2 Corinthians 12.9
• 9 But his answer was: “My grace is all
you need, for my power is greatest
when you are weak.” I am most
happy, then, to be proud of my
weaknesses, in order to feel the
protection of Christ's power over me.
Training
For The
Conversation
DISTRICT
CONVERSATIONS
Tools for the
Toolbox
Who are they?
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Developing as adolescents – Puberty
• Pituitary Gland sends hormones to stimulate other glands.
• Hypothalamus interacts with the Pituitary gland to regulate
hormones.
• Thyroid gland influences growth.
• Gonads or sex glands – testes in male and ovaries in females
involved in secondary sex characteristics.
• Major hormones are estrogens in female and androgens in
males.
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Developing as adolescents – Brain
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Prefrontal cortex is developing – not developed.
Amygdala is in overdrive!
Synapses are developing connections.
Pruning is taking place at an accelerated rate.
Developing as adolescents Cognitively
– Schema – a framework that allows an individual to
organize and interpret information.
– Assimilation – incorporation of new information into
existing knowledge
– Accommodation – Creating a different framework for new
information.
– Equilibration – process of shifting from one stage to the
next.
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Developing as adolescents Intelligences
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Visual/Spatial
Verbal/Linguistic
Mathematical/Logical
Bodily/Kinesthetic
Musical/Rhythmic
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Intrapersonal
Interpersonal
Naturalist
Existentialist
So what!?
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Need to be sensitive to where they are
Expect inconsistencies
Challenge growth
Frame it in a new way
Use a variety of learning tools/methods
God’s love experienced through caring adults
can overcome any barrier!
Parents
Involving them in meaningful ways
• Invite involvement from the beginning
• Meet with them to introduce the program
• Share information with them from the
beginning
• Consider a parallel experience
• Include a follow-up session
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Questions?
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The New Sexuality Resource from
Young People’s Ministries
• Focus is theological:
– Our sexuality is part of God’s good creation as are we
- created in God’s image – for relationship within the
wider community.
• Focus is biblical:
– Connecting participant’s story to the breadth of
God’s story in relationship with humankind.
• Focus is educational:
– Involves young people in specific learning activities for
the purpose of understanding the physical, social, and
emotional aspects of sexuality within a spiritual
framework.
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Resource development
• Middle School leader’s guide with reproducible
handouts.
• Online and in-person training available as resource
debuts.
• Web presence at www.globalyoungpeople.org with
enhancements, interaction opportunities, and updates
will follow introduction.
• Senior High resource to follow.
• Modules dealing with specific topics to be added to
web presence.
• Young Adult resource to follow.
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