Do You See Me?
Hey! It’s me...your black friend! You know your black friend remember? The one you go to
school, church, and work with. The one you stand up for when my brothers and sisters are
trending, but after it stops...not a peep. The one who you tell “get over it”. The one who you
tell “you’re different from the rest of them”. The one who’s culture you try to appropriate. The
one whose pain you don’t try to understand. THE BROTHER IN CHRIST YOU DON’T CRY
WITH, PRAY WITH, OR ENCOURAGE. Instead, you bring up black on black crime, stats,
politics. You remember now? Yeah, that black friend!
I got a question...do you see my pain? My hurt? My suffering? My fear? My exhaustion? My
struggle? DO YOU SEE ME? Because I still don’t think you do. I still don’t think you
understand what it’s like to be in a situation where you have to justify your own humanity. As
I write this all that runs through my mind is that you’ve probably already formed your
argument. Why is my life an argument? You think police brutality is the only thing we have to
contend with. Well, I hate to break it to you, it’s not.
To have this beautiful melanin soaked skin means I have to contend with the identities of
“rapper”, “athlete”, “welfare baby”, “ghetto”, “druggie”, “criminal”, “thug”, “suspect”,
“hoodlum”, “monkey” and worst of all “nigger” being prematurely thrown on me. My dignity is
stripped from me.
I have to work 3x as hard to make it. Do you want to know something? The only thing that
gets me through the interview doors is my name “Nathanael”. You know why? Because
they’re not expecting a black man to walk through those doors.
I have to be 10 steps ahead and condition myself. “Going to the store? Okay, make sure you
smile, be polite, and make eye contact.” This translates to “hey I’m not here to steal your
stuff and there’s no need to follow me around the store.”
I have to deal with people treating me like I’m some exotic animal in the zoo. “Can I touch
your hair?”. It also means I get patted on the back for not being “one of those black people”.
I’m expected to keep my mouth shut when a racial slur is hurled at me or act like it doesn’t
hurt because one word out of my mouth means “I’m aggressive”. The system won’t allow me
to fight back because the verdicts already been decided for me.
To have this beautiful melanin skin and to be expected to say the words “liberty and justice
for all”...
Do you see me………..