‭Scene I‬
‭(None of these names are final, neither is the script)‬
‭Clone troopers and Jedi General Blake are discussing tactics in a Republic ship.‬
‭ lake: So if were to approach the enemy’s left flank we could overrun their position and take‬
B
‭Lothal.‬
‭ ommander Rox: But, we must be careful if this ship were to get into enemy these secret files‬
C
‭will fall into the hands of the Separatists.‬
‭Random clone enters from the right.‬
‭Random Clone: Sir. an enemy ship has entered the system.‬
‭Commander Rox: Quick! The Separatists are here! Get to your battle stations!‬
‭Blake: I sense a disturbance in the force.‬
‭Commander Rox: It must be Darth Destructo.‬
‭ hole starts getting drilled in the wall. Clones get their guns ready to fire. Droids pop through‬
A
‭the opening and push clones back. They are fighting for a few seconds when Darth Destructo‬
‭enters.‬
‭Destructo: Well, well, this will be a very pleasing capture.‬
‭Blake and Destructo engage in lightsaber combat. While combating‬
‭ estructo: (Laughs menacingly) Soon your precious Jedi Order and the Republic will be‬
D
‭destroyed!‬
‭Blake:‬ ‭Not if I can do anything about it!‬
‭Destructo: There is our problem. You won’t be alive to do anything about it.‬
‭Destructo knocks Blake to the ground. He knocks Blake’s lightsaber out of his hand.‬
‭Destructo: Now you shall die… and soon your Jedi friends will join you.‬
‭Suddenly the ship vibrates violently and…‬
‭Random Clone: Reinforcements have arrived!‬
‭ lone troopers enter from different directions and Drake & Obama Wan Kenobi drop down.‬
C
‭Blake immediately gets up in the commotion grabs, his lightsaber, and starts to fight with‬
‭Destructo along with Obama and Drake.‬
‭Drake: Are we too late to join the party?‬
‭Obama: I hope not!‬
‭Blake: Nah, you’re just in time.‬
‭ hey engage in very aggressive style lightsaber combat, 2 jedi masters and 1 jedi knight versus‬
T
‭a Sith Lord. While combating… Suddenly behind the Sith Lord another jedi appears.‬
‭Destructo: Who are you?‬
‭ ade: I am a Grey Jedi… and a master of saber combat… I have come to kill you Destructo…‬
Z
‭when I was a child you came and destroyed the entire city!‬
‭Destructo: You are the worst type of creature alive! You have no allegiance to either side!‬
‭ estructo unleashes a torrents of assault with his lightsaber. Zade barely manages to deflect‬
D
‭them and his head gets cut off. Obama, Blake, and Drake stand there stunned!‬
‭Drake: The tyranny of the Sith cannot be allowed to continue, we will finish you here!‬
‭ hey engage in more aggressive style combat. Blake gets wounded quite badly, but still‬
T
‭manages to fight. Obama is the only one who is able to maintain his own against Destructo.‬
‭Then suddenly more clones appear in the room.‬
‭Commander Rox: Sir, we are pushing the enemy back to their hole.‬
‭Obama: Good, let’s finish this.‬
‭Destructo: Retreat! Fall back to the ship.‬
‭Droids: Roger, roger. Roger, roger.‬
‭ lake: Common! We can’t let him escape! His capture could completely tip the tide of the war in‬
B
‭our favor!‬
‭Droids and Destructo retreat to their ship. By the time they arrived he had escaped.‬
‭Commander Rox: If we had hurried a little more, we could have got him!‬
‭Blake: Something he said bothers me. He told me that soon the Jedi Order would be destroyed.‬
‭Drake: That’s just typical Sith talk, you can’t believe anything he says!‬
‭Blake: Even so, we must talk to the council.‬
‭Scene II‬
‭Destructo walks in a dark room and bows down.‬
‭ estructo: That Jedi scum escaped from my clutches. If those fools had not interfered, I would‬
D
‭have had him in front of you right now!‬
‭ arth Hitler: You have failed me for the last time. I asked you to bring me this Blake to me!!! Yet‬
D
‭you failed to do this despite having the title of the Jedi Killer!!‬
‭ estructo: But Master, you asked me to be here on time…‬
D
‭Darth Hitler: Yet, you are still late, and you did not even bring me that Jedi! If you were late but‬
‭had still brung me that Jedi, I would have forgiven you! I will have to kill you for your failure.‬
‭Destructo: No master. The only person who will die tonight is you!‬
‭Darth Hitler: Very well, one last lesson is needed.‬
‭ arth Hitler and Destructo battle for a few seconds. (Destructo should have a some red paint‬
D
‭ready spill everywhere when Darth Hitler hits his hand and knocks his lightsaber away. Then‬
‭knocks him to the ground and stabs him in the back with a lightsaber. Destructo crumples to the‬
‭ground dead.‬
‭Darth Hitler: Now, it’s time to find a new apprentice.‬
‭Scene III‬
‭ bama Wan Kenobi, Drake and Blake walk into a Jedi Council, who are talking about some‬
O
‭random stuff.‬
‭Windu: I sense there is something disturbing you Blake.‬
‭Blake: Yes there is Master Windu. Darth Destructo said something that still disturbs me.‬
‭Yoda: What, say, did he?‬
‭Blake: in his exact words, Soon your precious Jedi Order and the Republic will be destroyed!‬
‭Yoda: Truth, there is, in these words.‬
‭All Jedi present shiver as a ripple goes through the the force.‬
‭Obama: Did you feel that?‬
‭Yoda: Ripple there was, in the force.‬
‭Windu: Someone powerful just died… And it was no Jedi.‬
‭Yoda: Destructo, died he has. But by who we do not know.‬
‭ bama: Whoever this is, he must be quite powerful. Especially when we have failed to kill‬
O
‭Destructo at least a 100 times.‬
‭Blake: Something sinister rising. I can feel it in the air.‬
‭Drake: Perhaps Destructo was ujdestroyed by his own apprentice.‬
‭Obama: But we never even knew if he had an apprentice or not.‬
‭Drake: That was the same with the old Sith Lord that you killed Obama.‬
‭Obama: True enough, and less than 10 rotations after that, Destructo rose to power.‬
‭ lake: We won’t get anywhere like this. We should ask a Jedi to get on the full trail of this. The‬
B
‭rest of us should focus on the finishing the war.‬
‭ oda: Right, young Blake is. We cannot distract ourselves with this now. The Republic is now‬
Y
‭close to winning this war. But careful we must be, of the next Supreme President of the‬
‭Republic. At a crucial time, the Republic is...‬
‭Obama: Yes, the election of the next Supreme President is coming in November‬
‭Drake: Let’s hope whoever wins the election knows what they are doing.‬
‭Yoda: Visit one debate we should.‬
‭Obama: Well let’s hope it's a good one… (I took out democrat since it could be offending.)‬
‭Blake: I can,’t come until secure Lothal… See ya later.‬
‭Scene IV‬
‭ cene changes to political debate. Donald Trump walk through. Huge cheer from the left side.‬
S
‭Then Bernie Sanders walks through, huge cheer from right side.‬
‭Donald Trump: Together we will make the Republic great again!‬
‭ ernie Sanders: Seriously? Is that all you know how to say??? Many people, especially in the‬
B
‭outermost systems of the Republic are lacking education! Chose me as President and everyone‬
‭will get free education!!!‬
‭ onald Trump: So? You people want a president who is going to raise our taxes? Already our‬
D
‭taxes ARE so high? You think we can pay anymore?? I can. I mean, I’m rich, that’s the beauty‬
‭of me...I’m not paid by anybody! II’m all about making the Republic great again! But we are‬
‭talking to you, the general public!!!‬
‭ ost: OK, ok, we didn't even ask questions yet. Well anyway before that we should introduce‬
H
‭ourselves I am your host Charles Glare. On my right is Donald Trump.‬‭Huge cheer from‬
‭audience.‬‭On my left is Bernie Sanders.‬‭Another huge‬‭cheer from audience.‬‭Ok so our first‬
‭question is… What will you do about illegal immigration into the Republic.‬
‭ onald Trump: What we need is a massive Electric wall all across our Southern Republic‬
D
‭Border!!!‬
‭ ernie Sanders: Is that all you’ve got? Ever heard of starships such as the Millennium Falcon?‬
B
‭That can fly over walls...but I guess stupid clowns don’t know about such things...‬
‭ onald Trump: About stupid clowns, try looking in the mirror...a person who doesn’t know about‬
D
‭making the Republic great! I also call for a super space station called the Star of Death! (huge‬
‭cheer from the audience) It will be able to destroy the crime capital Mexico!‬
‭Bernie Sanders: Do you have any idea how much that would cost?! (huge cheer)‬
‭ onald Trump: I would build it very inexpensively, unlike you! I’ve run many businesses in this‬
D
‭Republic back when it was great, when democrat scum like yourself didn't ruin it! But now, we‬
‭must focus on destroying Mexico...from there come crime lords, rapists, drug dealers, and some‬
‭good people, I assume. And anyways, what about your stupid education plan? How much would‬
‭that cost, especially when you love to educate the useless illegals? (Huge cheer)‬
‭ ernie Sanders: The illegals must become legal so they can pay a reasonable tax rate and then‬
B
‭they can contribute to the Republic! I will make everything fair in the Republic! (mixed booing‬
‭and cheering)‬
‭ onald Trump: I WILL MAKE THE REPUBLIC GREAT AGAIN!!! I TOOK A SMALL LOAN OF A‬
D
‭MILLION, AND TURNED IT INTO 10 BILLION!!! THE REPUBLIC WILL BE RICH AGAIN!!!!!!!‬
‭(LOUD CHEERING)‬
‭Host: Very...interesting responses… Let’s move on…‬
‭Scene V‬
‭ arth Hitler: Very interesting...usually, the Republic elections are boring since we want to‬
D
‭destroy their type of scum...but in this case...Donald Trump will to make the perfect apprentice...‬
‭His hate can be used to turn him turned to the dark side… this starting to get boring so let’s skip‬
‭the prequels...‬
‭There will be some crazy force thing going on and then it suddenly stops.‬
‭ arth Hitler: Here is the only good thing about the prequels…‬
D
‭Switches on his hologram and says…‬
‭Darth Hitler: Commander, commence Order 66.‬
‭We will show many Jedi dying and stuff.‬
‭Darth Hitler: Ok, now let’s get to the part where the Empire truly rules above all!!‬
‭Scene VI‬
‭Yoda: Obama, soon his training begin it must.‬
‭Obama Wan Kenobi: Yes, but is he ready.‬
‭Yoda: Ready, he must be or all is lost.‬
‭Obama Wan Kenobi: I just hope the emperor hasn’t figured it out yet.‬