The 4 “C’s”
Be clear, concise, considerate, and
correct!
Warm Up!
 Revise the following sentences to make them more direct
and concise.
 This is to inform you that a great percentage of employees
are of the opinion that it is preferable to save their money in
the event that they may want to retire early.
 It was decided by the director to cancel the program.
 A revision of the program will result in increases in our
efficiency in the servicing of our customers.
 There are five car alarms that are blaring in the parking lot.
Getting rid of the words . . .
 Original: This is to inform you that a great percentage of
employees are of the opinion that it is preferable to save their
money in the event that they may want to retire early.
 Revision:
Some General Rules
 Consider your reader! Use “you” and “we” centered language.
 Focus on the real subject of the sentence.
 Draft: The implementation of the plan will occur on April 6.
 Revision: The plan will be implemented on April 6.
 Write in active voice
 Who or what is the subject of the sentence? What are they doing?
 Consider a basic subject + verb sentence
 Cut the clutter!
Work on your own . . .
 Find three clunky or overly long sentences
 Cross out any unnecessary words
 Begin by crossing out adverbs, or –ly words.
 Put brackets around prepositional phrases
 Common prepositions: of, in, to, with, for, with, on, from,
by, about
Work on your own (con’t)
 Circle the subject of the sentence (usually the first noun in the
sentence.)
 Is the subject the most important noun in that sentence? Is it truly the
word that you want to emphasize?
 If not, move the most important noun to the front of the sentence.

E.g. The idea originated from class members who believed that we could
have better cafeteria food.
 Look at the verb.
 Is it active? That is, is the subject of the sentence performing the verb?
 Could it be more direct? Could you replace many words with one direct
verb

E.g. “people are under the impression that . . .”?